Sunday, February 10, 2008

3 Years Ago ....

... I started blogging here
I had envisaged a portal for my thoughts and a chronological archive of my shenanigans
I think I accomplished both, but somehow I seem to have lost traction on where I am
Not to worry ..

In the three years though, apart from having some (not a lot though, although .. well ..) of insight into my thought processes, and sometimes thoughtless ones too, I have realized a few hundred things.

Not in any sort of order, even I am not that organised :)

* During the 3yrs, I have made a lot of friends - some of them some of the most amazing people that I will have the pleasure of knowing. From Kui and Mshairi welcoming me, to Mental mentoring me, to Ms K being absolutely fabulous, to Nick bullying me, to Mr. Unmentionables, well, not mentioning them, to Akiey being my rock, to M being .. well .... M, to >d® just being, all the boys and girls. Most of the above I have met face to face, (Hi Archer), some accidentally and some by default, the were the EGMs and the Aegeus', the Nakeels , the Prous (+ baby) and the Shiroh's (Hi neighbour, wanna go check on my dog Thomas???) Aunties and Uncles (Hi Blue) and everyone in between. Most of this was accomplished in the first year only - and it was amazing to boot. I would never ever change any one of those situations .. including the blog wars LOLOL, and the 'G Crush of 2005'

Speaking of which (this is where you insert: Oh For God's sake (unless you prefer the more profane word)), I still have a blogcrush - and the worst part of it is that it is the same person from way back when, and yes, he did make the cut back then too. Yes I know, I know, no one would ever believe me if I even tried to spin this one again, but good thing is that I am not asking, I am telling. Having said that, he is one of the best friends I have and I wouldn't put that on the line for anything else. So there ..

Speaking of friendships, a friend of ours on blog wrote a thesis suggesting that he does not believe in friendships after relationships. Hi over there, now that you have disproved your theory, can we get a retraction (on the thesis, not the friendship, *sob*)

I have also learnt much about myself - how I interact with people, how easy I find it to form friendships and ties and how loyal I can be as a friend. But I also know that I am a bum at keeping in touch with people. It is like I go with seasons. There is a time where there will be a staccato of information flowing both ways, and there will be time when the traffic is one way, then it dwindles to drips and drops and then zero. What I know is that 9/10 this is in no way a reflection of the person on the other end, it is my behind that is lagging . . . er .. behind and for that I am willing to make an effort.

I also know that I love waaaayyyyy too hard. When I love somebody (both romantic and/or platonic), I will do anything for them (within boundaries, of course) and I do that with my whole heart - but I also know that a person can say and do something that they might not even think is that significant, and I retract like I have been shot - and I am sure that happens to other people too so I am not unique. I seriously hate it when friends betray friends, I hate when people hurt other people, I hate when people lie and cheat, I hate dishonesty. I know I am not perfect, but I try the best to my ability to live without harming self or others (oh and animals too, including rodents).

I also know that where I am in life, I am blessed. I have traveled around, seen a lot, loved, lived. I may not be where I want to be just yet. I may not have accomplished everything I would have wanted to. I may not have made the wisest choices in my life - in fact, there are times when I have been careless, stupid, and irresponsible - but I know that there is always room for improvement and as long as I am breathing and sane, I can always make those improvements and will strive to be a better person all round. God blessed me with a big heart, a sane brain, and a bigger than average outlook - I think I will be okay.

Having said that, after three years of making myself cringe, laugh, cry, sing, dance, make fun of other people and self, laugh at myself, tell of my woes about love, life, write half-assed poems and quote songs, cuss out a few people (probably not, but .. ) I think it is time to say 'later'.
It will not be forever, of course - where would I be without my writing and you reading it? But it will have to do for now. I need to concentrate on being out there so that when I come back in here, I will have something worth reading to write about.

And of course, I will let you know where when I know where where is.

(This being a promise I intend to keep - I am on email guessaurus at gmail com - and I will reply to your emails if/when received, promptly [kicks self])

Till then - God bless, Thank You, Goodbye
I will see you all on your blogs.

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