Thursday, April 03, 2008

Viscousity (End of an Error)

Nine years and four months later – that is how long it took – I would chalk it down to procrastination, procreation, progression or some pro or the other, but the truth is – well, it just is.

I have asked myself that question a whole lot in the last couple of days, and I sincerely was left bereft. How did I allow it to drag this long? How in the world does a ‘non-relationship’ relationship last that long? Most marriages, no wait, most lives do not last that long.

Egotistical rub whose friction was only felt by others – that is the only definition of it I could come up with that made sense – how is that for insightful hindsight?

Now that we know how long it took, what did it take?

Funny you should ask, cos I have been asking that too – and as my friend asked me the other day: What did you do? (It is always assumed by all that I have to have done something for something to happen – cause and effect you say? More like ‘affect’, but .. – well, ‘Why does it have to be I that had to have done something?’ Oh sorry, there was a question in there somewhere:

Answer: It is what I didn’t do.

So what else is new?

According to him, I dismiss people. At last somebody put it into words – I always wondered. Jeez I am doing it again – dismissing the dismissal: stop.

Well, how long and what has been covered.

Why?

(Shrug)

I dismissed him – is that an answer? No?

Ok, I got bored. Now that is an answer.

I got bored of having the bar set too high and slightly to the right – being more left oriented, I found I had to stretch and turn every time I needed to reach (make of that what you will, even I don’t know yet what that means - my brain has a mind all of its own)

That said, for the first time in my dating life, I can say in all sincerity that I have no ghost baggage (I think it would be wise to check with T5, they seem to be losing it in transition, or is it apparition?).

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