Saturday, April 05, 2008

The Observatory

I am cracking myself up on the regular these days – mainly in observation mode. I am perched up there, and sometimes over there in the corner, just observing the world turn, and taking notes. To say all is well in my corner of the crust is to say the truth.

Observatory Level 22: Mighty Mouse - Juvenility notwithstanding, this is lower than a hedgehog’s lair. Am I in any shape or form supposed to react in any …er… well, shape or form? The cracker jack in this one being that like a certain governator .. “You will be back” – hopefully not through T5.

Observatory Level 1: Kitchen - I definitely need to stop taking coffee – my brain is registering 9.0 on the Richter scale

Observatory Level 1.5: Mezzanine - This is less cracking up and more just cracking. I am in no way an expert at relationships – worse still, I did remove myself from that arena a while back owing to the fact that I do not feel ready to ‘get to know’ anyone else before I ‘spring-clean my house’ – which is going very well Thanks for asking – actually I do believe said house is now sparkling clean – although it ain’t ready for tenants and/or buyer occupiers (now that is another reason to crack self up) – I know we need a few more alterations (and hopefully no altercations) before we are ready to allow viewers.

But this level isn’t about me – I am just an observer here.

Somebody I care about deeply is slowly disappearing in heartache that they are hiding in plain sight – and there is absolutely nothing I can do until they are ready to come out and admit it both to themselves and people that care for them. Problem is, the ‘causer’ of the hurt is someone who is also in the same ‘circle of trust’ – although that is observed with impunity. I hate when people are so irredeemably stupid and then walk around like they are owed some awe by the world for their stupidity. But then again, why am I surprised, really? Did I, and by extension others, not see this one coming from a mile off – including the one hurting in this 20/20 visionary indiscretion?

Like I told human who told me to broach subject with the subject on the receiving end: Once bitten twice shy – on my part that is – I know quite well how to play deaf, dumb and blind this time round - and I also noted that although I cannot protect people that I love from hurt and heartbreak, I can be there to provide support and kiss it better after they fall – so they can learn from their mistakes and be careful next time round.

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

The Fray: How to save a life

Observatory Level 17.5: Paradigm shift – I know if I say something like everyday is a new day, some smart-ass human is gonna say something akin to ‘no shit sherlock’ - and they would be right. However, I do believe the Man upstairs and I have come to some sort of level of understanding – this from an observatory perspective, mind – and He is of the opinion that I need a break – seeing as I have been so good and all – and for that reason (and others that I cannot claim to know about) I cannot remember a time when I was happier, or more content with my life, or sleeping better, or being more patient with people – especially the most beautiful human being on the planet – oh and my nephew too LOL - or felt so loved, and appreciated, and useful (doing), and appreciative, and useful (being done), and loving and active, and bright and intelligent, and sociable, and oh, there is always the downside – I am waaaay too cheeky, and I am taking too much coffee, and getting too amused when people do stuff that is supposed to evoke a reaction from me, and it doesn’t, and it pisses them off.

Admittedly, no one/nothing has changed noticeably, only me.

Good change.

For that, I have a spring in my step and in my season too.

Aaaaannndddd - I nearly forgot: Then there are the dreams.

Ohhh the dreams.

Have you ever woken up from a really weird-in-a-very-good-way dream and gone:

What was that?!

Well, that is me every morning!


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