Incoming (should that be two words, or one?)

Conversation goes like this:

G: You have a visitor
Him: Whom
G: That one walking on the wall (pointing at indeterminate insect)
H: That is nothing, there is a snake in the back garden



Did the man just say the S word - seriously?
Self walks all over the flat, sorry, crib, house, something, looking for the snake. He just laughs and says that they will not bite you. Snake, sorry for being hilariously paranoid but I am nowhere near agreeing to spend any inordinate amount of time and/or space, with a serpent. Not that one anyway.

Like I said, there must be something wrong with the man - he is not afraid of snakes.

I do not know what this jungle that is called America cropped from, but this is the most I have seen of 'wildlife' - as I call it - even growing up in Kenya is nothing by comparison.

How do you explain the 'wild turkey' that has five chicks, that walks around twice a day- for lunch, and or dinner.
Or the massive amount of squirrels, including the tiny cute brown one - that do everything including walk into your house if you leave the door open.
Or the amount of 'hares - er .. rabbits - them things - that are permanently running around in perfectly 'decent' neighbourhoods. We are closer to having rabbit stew than you think.
Or that thing that I saw that had me calling my sister going: There is a huge rodent, the size of a cat, walking around outside here. It is so funny. She asks what it is, and I am like: I don't know, but it sure as hell doesnt look tame to me.
Or that possum that I saw, and tried to talk to, and then chickened out. Where is google when you need it?
Or the Skunk - seriously!
Or the ants
And insects
And roaches - come on people, clean up will ya?
Or the little 'rat' that Brother in Law killed sometime back - I am still looking around for more.
Or the 'domesticated' dogs that adopt me at every turn - even in cars.
Or even the people, damn the people.


I love animals, all of them, but not with my dinner (unless they are dinner), and no, Snakes, not today Sir! Snakes eat rodents, and I love rodents, so it is only natural to not like snakes.

It really is a jungle out here.