Monday, August 18, 2008

One Fagless Year Later

This time last year, I quit smoking. Cold Turkey.
After two years, I just tried to smoke one day and couldn't inhale so I threw the pack (which was full) and the lighter away. I still can never tell why I started in the first place - bad influence I suppose - or why I stopped. But I am glad I did.

Do I miss it? Sometimes I wish I still smoked - sometimes I see someone smoking and wish I still did, but I have never so far as tried to buy or borrow (or steal) a cigarette so I suppose that is a good thing. The Gorgeous One smokes - not often, like one a day - and not a full one, either - and I go outside with him to smoke it, but I have never been tempted to take one for myself. I suppose its because I was never a smoker to begin with - just a faker LOL.

When we first started going out, he told me that it would be healthy for me if I smoked once in a while - I didnt get the logic behind it or where he got the information - but that if you once smoked, you should do it like that instead of cold turkey. Me, no way - I know how it would feel, that first hit that makes things hazy, makes you feel lightheaded and sick - and you know you gotta smoke two so you can cancel that sickening feeling? I used to not smoke for like two days - and then I would find a reason to smoke - and I never looked forward to that first hit, and I know that I would never just smoke one fag a day or something - once I get used to the taste and smell I would lapse back. This I am afraid is it for me.

I do not mind that he smokes - it doesn't bother me, although when we started dating he said he would stop if it bothered me. But then I used the logic that when I used to smoke, hiM over there didn't like it one bit - and always complained and asked me to quit - and so did a few other people - but I never paid him any mind, and continued. This is my apology to you - I know it bothered you and I suppose that was that selfish part of me that did not consider how you felt.
I can imagine kissing a smoker - I do it now, but in your case it mustn't have been all that pleasant. *chuckling a little*

As for the Gorgeous One, he has promised to quit - and since he is out of state for a while, I don't know if he already has - will remember to ask. But he is very determined in everything he does so I am sure this one will be a success too.

In the meantime, I do not even care if he smokes a pack a day - I just want him to come home cos I miss his Gorgeous self like mad. Singing to me over the phone in that extra-sexy voice will have to suffice, but it is making things harder.


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